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Chaos: My Best Friend

A lovely piece on self sabotage and self care.

The Bipolar Writer

joshua-fuller-229095So, there is this thing called chaos.  It’s a noun that is defined as complete disorder and confusion.  And I am drawn to it like a moth to light, like bees to honey, women to shopping malls, you get my drift.  I’ve been this way for years upon years.  Only being really cognizant of it over the last few years.

Yesterday I saw my psychiatrist and I confessed my sins.  I had made the choice over a week ago to decrease my mood stabilizer medications because I was tired of the side effects, namely weight gain.  I had enough, and I took matters into my own hands, even though I knew that I should not make changes without her guidance and approval.  Knowing that my choice to mess with my medication regime could cause instability in mood and potentially a devastating setback.

Truth be told I had been doing really…

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