Sometimes I get lost in "me." My financial difficulties, my mental problems, my physical pain and limitations. All I see are the obstacles that heighten my hardship. I become obsessed with all the systems that make my life more challenging and how all those systems need to change or just plain suck. I get lost… Continue reading Self-Reliance; No-Self–Reliance
Last week I had a glorious week without muscle relaxers. I had about three days of feeling very clear-headed and awake for the first time since Spring. Then the pain came back. So how did I make it off muscle relaxers? I started taking three supplements from a company called Purium, which is an MLM,… Continue reading Meds, Supplements, Exhaustion, and Pain Relief (Sometimes)
Recently, my husband and I took an R&R long weekend at a cabin in the countryside about an hour from home. I was sitting on the screened porch one morning, sipping tea and listening to the birds. A pasture area lay off beyond the trees. The air smelled fresh after the rain the night before.… Continue reading Stress, Suffering, Pain, and Release
So, life has been challenging this summer. My back has not been playing nice, which means my house is a disaster, my productivity has been dismal, and my blog neglected. But, I just finished six weeks of aquatic physical therapy, and my body is feeling so much better. Of course, then my husband gave me… Continue reading Aquatic Physical Therapy is My New BFF
The last 12-months have been tough. Really tough. It’s been the hardest year of my life.
In sharing my truth here, I feel that writing a long, detailed description of the difficulties I’ve undergone isn’t wholly necessary, although a further exploration of life lessons learned might well follow in due course –
For now, I can tell you that I have been dealing with the potential breakup of my marriage, my dad dying from cancer, severe problems in my job and an ongoing recovery from substance addiction. Despite trying to help myself via regular visits to the Doctor, counselling and prescribed SSRIs I was slowly but surely falling into a deep black hole. Combined, these problems took me to the very edge.
During this year there have been days where I felt like I’d been sucker-punched in the stomach. Left with a deep, emotional pain, heavy and dense, stretching…
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An exercise I might try doing. When I got married, we had to do some required pre-marital counseling with our pastor, who had us write 100 things we loved about the other person. It was hard, even though I loved and still love my husband a lot. It would be easier to do this list for him now, after 22 years of marriage. I think it will be pulling teeth to do it for myself.
It has been some time since I have written. With summer in full swing and my children all home for vacation, I found I was spending too much time writing and checking the blog and it was becoming a distraction from what is most important in my life: my family. So I chose to take a break. But, with everyone back in school, I am feeling the need to create and to express myself. I am glad to be back.
I’ve written frequently about self love and wanting to improve in this area. I have been grateful to make significant progress in this area over the past couple of months. To share a brief update, I had some adjustments to my thyroid medication which significantly improved my depression. This has helped me in many ways. I no longer have a constant negative dialogue going in my mind. I feel optimistic…
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On this past Sunday and Monday, I had three lessons about trust. It showed me some of the ways that trust is so important and also how much it can lack within our society and our relationships. Act 1: Contracts On Monday afternoon I took a class about real estate contract writing for a new… Continue reading Trust, Contracts, ADR, and True Love