This is not unique these days, but I feel like I've lost my ability to socialize. It was never my forte. I was sick a lot as a child, so I didn't learn to socialize as a young child and just had to wing it. I'm still winging it many years later after therapy, study,… Continue reading I’ve Lost My Ability to Socialize But Not Because of the Social Distancing Rules
In the book Zen Chants by Kazuaki Tanahashi, he shared Joan Halifax's version of the Four Great Vows (or Bodhisattva Vows). I've come across these before, having chanted them at a local sangha, but this particular version resonated with me more than most. Creations are numberless; I vow to free them.Delusions are inexhaustible; I vow… Continue reading Delusions and Life Purposes and Freedom
Friendship drift happens for lots of reasons. I've personally experienced it due to someone going back to school, getting married, breaking up, having children, moving, health issues, and taking a new job. These are all normal things that facilitate a person, who was once a very important part of your life and you theirs, drifting… Continue reading I Can’t Be Who You Want Me to Be
Lately, I keep experiencing disappointment. Or, rather, I am paying attention to the fact that I experience disappointment. I think experiencing it is an ongoing thing for all of us. But it feels much better, safer, to keep on rolling along, letting distractions pull us away from the pain of disappointment. Yet, the pain is… Continue reading Disappointment with Disappointment
I have been feeling lonely lately, especially so after I interact with my friends. The breadth of space between humans is sometimes staggering, and it can be sad to see that the gulf can only be breached so far. We cannot ever really know another person. Most of us don't even fully know ourselves. There… Continue reading Self Love, Holiday Blues: Loneliness Edition
I've been in a funk lately, avoiding anything that makes me think too hard—like writing blog posts. In the past, I would've been beating myself up about this. Of course, those castigating thoughts are still there, but I continue my practice of being more gentle with myself. It took me some time to get to… Continue reading Self Love, Holiday Blues
I was asked to review a book called The Premonition Code, which is about precognition from a scientific and practical perspective, for the Public Parapsychology blog. Public Parapsychology is a website and blog dedicated to advancing public scholarship in the fields of parapsychology and anomalous psychology. *** The Premonition Code pairs a seasoned scientist, Dr.… Continue reading Book Review: The Premonition Code
We all have shadow sides. Most people don't see these sides. A few, like maybe our coworkers or acquaintances, see snippets on our worst days. Even our friends may only catch glimpses. If we're really good at hiding it, even our close family rarely see it. A lot of us probably don't even see our… Continue reading Hope Must Die. I Will Kill It.
So, life has been challenging this summer. My back has not been playing nice, which means my house is a disaster, my productivity has been dismal, and my blog neglected. But, I just finished six weeks of aquatic physical therapy, and my body is feeling so much better. Of course, then my husband gave me… Continue reading Aquatic Physical Therapy is My New BFF
I attend a sangha at least once a month. Today the theme was belonging. I have always wanted to feel like I belong, just like pretty much everyone else. As a child, I did my best to fit in, although I had competing groups so I had to pick one. Probably because I spent the… Continue reading Belonging
Suicidal Tulip 