I have been feeling lonely lately, especially so after I interact with my friends. The breadth of space between humans is sometimes staggering, and it can be sad to see that the gulf can only be breached so far. We cannot ever really know another person. Most of us don't even fully know ourselves. There… Continue reading Self Love, Holiday Blues: Loneliness Edition
I've been in a funk lately, avoiding anything that makes me think too hard—like writing blog posts. In the past, I would've been beating myself up about this. Of course, those castigating thoughts are still there, but I continue my practice of being more gentle with myself. It took me some time to get to… Continue reading Self Love, Holiday Blues
We all have shadow sides. Most people don't see these sides. A few, like maybe our coworkers or acquaintances, see snippets on our worst days. Even our friends may only catch glimpses. If we're really good at hiding it, even our close family rarely see it. A lot of us probably don't even see our… Continue reading Hope Must Die. I Will Kill It.
Recently, my husband and I took an R&R long weekend at a cabin in the countryside about an hour from home. I was sitting on the screened porch one morning, sipping tea and listening to the birds. A pasture area lay off beyond the trees. The air smelled fresh after the rain the night before.… Continue reading Stress, Suffering, Pain, and Release
I attend a sangha at least once a month. Today the theme was belonging. I have always wanted to feel like I belong, just like pretty much everyone else. As a child, I did my best to fit in, although I had competing groups so I had to pick one. Probably because I spent the… Continue reading Belonging
This week, I let myself hope that my extended time on muscle relaxers and additional back pain was coming to an end. I let myself hope that last week, too, and it didn't work out. But this week felt different. During the day on Monday I felt really good with only half a muscle relaxer… Continue reading The Insidiousness of Hope
I've been busy lately working, starting a new job, and doing physical therapy for my acute back strain, so my poor blog has been neglected. Also, being on muscle relaxers constantly for over a month takes a toll on my brain power. I'm finally beginning to taper down to lower doses, so hopefully my brain… Continue reading Emptying the Mind When Life is Full