Random Thoughts, Spirituality

Maybe This Is a Problem. Maybe It Isn’t.

Lately, I've been feeling sad a lot. It's not an overwhelming depression feeling. It's just grief. A sense of loss. No one has died, but things change a lot. Meditation and mindfulness practices make me more acutely aware of this. My study of Dharma tells me that this grief is a sign of attachment. It's… Continue reading Maybe This Is a Problem. Maybe It Isn’t.

Autobio, Psychology, Random Thoughts, Spirituality

Disappointment with Disappointment

Lately, I keep experiencing disappointment. Or, rather, I am paying attention to the fact that I experience disappointment. I think experiencing it is an ongoing thing for all of us. But it feels much better, safer, to keep on rolling along, letting distractions pull us away from the pain of disappointment. Yet, the pain is… Continue reading Disappointment with Disappointment

Autobio, Psychology, Spirituality

Self Love, Holiday Blues: Loneliness Edition

I have been feeling lonely lately, especially so after I interact with my friends. The breadth of space between humans is sometimes staggering, and it can be sad to see that the gulf can only be breached so far. We cannot ever really know another person. Most of us don't even fully know ourselves. There… Continue reading Self Love, Holiday Blues: Loneliness Edition

Autobio, Psychology, Spirituality, Uncategorized

Self Love, Holiday Blues

I've been in a funk lately, avoiding anything that makes me think too hard—like writing blog posts. In the past, I would've been beating myself up about this. Of course, those castigating thoughts are still there, but I continue my practice of being more gentle with myself. It took me some time to get to… Continue reading Self Love, Holiday Blues

Autobio, Psychology, Spirituality

Hope Must Die. I Will Kill It.

We all have shadow sides. Most people don't see these sides. A few, like maybe our coworkers or acquaintances, see snippets on our worst days. Even our friends may only catch glimpses. If we're really good at hiding it, even our close family rarely see it. A lot of us probably don't even see our… Continue reading Hope Must Die. I Will Kill It.

Autobio, Random Thoughts, Spirituality

Self-Reliance; No-Self–Reliance

Sometimes I get lost in "me." My financial difficulties, my mental problems, my physical pain and limitations. All I see are the obstacles that heighten my hardship. I become obsessed with all the systems that make my life more challenging and how all those systems need to change or just plain suck. I get lost… Continue reading Self-Reliance; No-Self–Reliance

Autobio, Pain, Spirituality

Stress, Suffering, Pain, and Release

Recently, my husband and I took an R&R long weekend at a cabin in the countryside about an hour from home. I was sitting on the screened porch one morning, sipping tea and listening to the birds. A pasture area lay off beyond the trees. The air smelled fresh after the rain the night before.… Continue reading Stress, Suffering, Pain, and Release