This is not unique these days, but I feel like I've lost my ability to socialize. It was never my forte. I was sick a lot as a child, so I didn't learn to socialize as a young child and just had to wing it. I'm still winging it many years later after therapy, study,… Continue reading I’ve Lost My Ability to Socialize But Not Because of the Social Distancing Rules
Realization Realizes Realization Despite the Smoky Haze
Today the smoke from the Western U.S. fires reached Ohio. The smoke is too high to permeate the air, but the sky has a smoky haze, as you can see in this comparison photo. It got me thinking about how a smoky haze is a metaphor for how so many of us view the world.… Continue reading Realization Realizes Realization Despite the Smoky Haze
Delusions and Life Purposes and Freedom
In the book Zen Chants by Kazuaki Tanahashi, he shared Joan Halifax's version of the Four Great Vows (or Bodhisattva Vows). I've come across these before, having chanted them at a local sangha, but this particular version resonated with me more than most. Creations are numberless; I vow to free them.Delusions are inexhaustible; I vow… Continue reading Delusions and Life Purposes and Freedom
Is Part of Me Now a Part of You?
I don't know if reincarnation happens and what form it might take. There are a number of ways people interpret what reincarnation looks like, mainly depending on whether or not a person believes in a literal soul as a discrete entity. I'm most drawn to the idea that energy is the building block that coalesces under certain conditions to become matter.
Acupressure Mats: Torture Devices, Pain Relievers, or Both?
Acupuncture has been one of my go-to treatments for chronic pain for a good six or seven years, but it doesn't come cheap. Even with insurance, it adds up to have a treatment on a regular basis (and don't even get me started on the expense of massages, but I fork over for those too… Continue reading Acupressure Mats: Torture Devices, Pain Relievers, or Both?
Accepting Reality as a Starting Point for Openness
Lately, I've been seeing an uptick in memes or comments on social media to the effect of "it shouldn't be this way" or "this is the way it should be," depending on the subject and one's POV. This kind of thinking leads to a lot of dissatisfaction and stress because you can't change how things… Continue reading Accepting Reality as a Starting Point for Openness
I Am (Not) a Flower in the Sky
I've been thinking a lot about my "career," whatever that even is anymore. We are so defined by our jobs. "What do you do?" is an early small talk question, but it's just one more box we put ourselves in to, like where you live, what your name is, how many followers you have on… Continue reading I Am (Not) a Flower in the Sky
Revisiting the NOT To Do List
One of the best ideas I've come across about managing chronic pain/chronic illness is the Not To Do List. I read about it in one of Toni Bernhardt's books about living well with chronic conditions, but I can't remember which one. (You can view all her books here. They are all lovely.) The gist of… Continue reading Revisiting the NOT To Do List
I Can’t Be Who You Want Me to Be
Friendship drift happens for lots of reasons. I've personally experienced it due to someone going back to school, getting married, breaking up, having children, moving, health issues, and taking a new job. These are all normal things that facilitate a person, who was once a very important part of your life and you theirs, drifting… Continue reading I Can’t Be Who You Want Me to Be
I Don’t (Want to) Need You to Love Me Back
With quarantine going strong, I notice more and more people sharing how much they miss people, often expressing this to the people they miss. There is an exchange of affection expressed. It got me thinking again how I participate in this give and take of mutual reassurance. Am I merely expressing a kind of gratitude… Continue reading I Don’t (Want to) Need You to Love Me Back