Chronic pain has been on my mind a lot lately because I've been doing a second gabapentin trial, which is going quite poorly. Waiting to hear back from the doctor on her thoughts on the side effects I'm getting. In the meantime, an article about chronic pain was shared by one of my friends on… Continue reading “Toughing Out” Chronic Pain with a Side of Sarcasm
My mother and I do not have the closest of relationships. We never have been nor will we ever be the best of friends, and that's fine. Not everyone is meant to be best friends with their parents, just as everyone isn't best friends with their siblings or their cousins or their old grade-school friend.… Continue reading When Your Mom Gets Really Bad Cancer
This isn't referring to marijuana. I'm talking about gabapentin again. After a few more days of merely 300 mg once a day, I became so stoned and tired I could barely function. Yesterday I was never awake more than a few hours at a time. I didn't take the medication last night and feel that… Continue reading Getting High
If you read my initial blog post, you know the first time I took gabapentin, I had a psychedelic trip. After that, I had a little over a week of euphoria and feeling slightly stoned. I was also tired, but my pain was lessened. Then I had about two good days before I started having… Continue reading Gabapentin, Take Two
Proud of my husband for having his music featured in this short film.
I recently endeavored to complete the Maffetone Two-Week Test. It has you cut out certain sources of carbs, such as fruit, beans, grains, and refined sugar. Then, after two weeks, you add back in different sources one at a time to see how each affects you and if you might have an intolerance to that… Continue reading Adventures With(out) Sugar
Libido is a concept thrown around in our culture quite regularly. We tend to use it in the Freudian sense of sexual energy. I used to think of it that way as well, until recently while working more with the Mary-El Tarot. She references libido a lot, and interpreting it as sexual energy did not… Continue reading The Natural Appetite of Libido
I went to an all-day conference yesterday. I was there about 9 hours. There was a long lunch break. I had time to walk around. The chairs in the rooms weren't the greatest, but I had my ergonomic kit designed to make it easier for me to sit without greatly aggravating my chronic pain condition.… Continue reading The Day a Conference Broke Me
I love tarot. Not for divination, per se, but as a contemplation exercise. How do I feel about the cards I'm looking at? Do I hate what they are telling me or do I love it? Sometimes it's hard work to decipher a reading, but often those are the best ones because they make me… Continue reading Introspective Tarot: Starting a Blog
Like everything, there is a story behind the name Suicidal Tulip. First, the name Suicidal Flower was taken, but that's OK. That meant I had to pick a specific flower, and the tulip has always been one of my favorites. Second, yeah, I've been suicidal a number of times and suicidal ideation is my frequent… Continue reading What’s in a Name?
Suicidal Tulip 